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White House Intern Employment Application

Name: _________________ (Optional) Age: Legal: __ under: __ (Not a disqualifying answer) Sex: Oral __ Improper __ (Not a disqualifying answer) Position applying for: On top: __ Below: __ Behind: __ Other: __ (Please describe in graphic detail.) ______________________________________ ______________________________________ ______________________________________ Education Level: You can't get pregnant if you do it standing up __ Oral sex is not adultery __ You're still a virgin if he pulls out early __ It's not perjury if it's a civil case __ Less than five women isn't cheating __ Typing Speed: __ words per minute. __ words per minute using only tongue. Distance can suck a golf ball though a garden hose: 5 feet: __ 10 feet: __ 100 feet: __ Don't need garden hose: __ List other talents that you believe qualify you for a White House position: Above the waist: ______________________________________ Below the waist: ______________________________________ Kama Sutra: Page number(s): ______________________________________ Do you or any of your friends own a tape recorder? No __ Grand jury alert __ Do you keep a diary? No __ Yes __ If yes, do you lie to it? ______________________________________ How would you best describe your reasons for wanting to work for the White House? Serve my country __ Report what is going on to Hillary __ Join the Air Force One Mile High Club __ Previous Experience: Hugh Hefner: __ Dallas Cowboys: __ Seventh Fleet: __ JFK: __ The Night Stalker __ Reason for leaving previous position? Employer died in ecstasy __ Subpoena __ Death threat from employer's wife __ Boyfriend killed employer __ but it's OK. He still in jail __ References: Gennifer Flowers __ Paula Jones __ Monica Lewinsky __ Janet Reno __ Ted Kennedy __ Ken Starr __ Sam Donaldson __ Where did you hear about this job? Personal ad __ National Enquirer __ New York Times __ Bimbo Eruption Newsletter __ Dick Morris __ James Carville __ (We are not responsible for the hundred dollars he may promised you or your trailer park!) Phone number in bathroom __ Secret Witness Program __ ============================================================ Employer use only: Slick Wille | Little Wille | 1st Bitch Loser __ | Loose lips __ | Bill __ OK __ | Deep Throat __ | Janet __ Oval Office __ | Zip Lock __ | Files __ Willie Room __ | Presidential Seal __ | My Place __

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